This past week I've had to sleep with the TV on to help my mind slow down and to be able to fall asleep. The dreaded part was that almost every night I dreamt about someone that used to be in my life. Not every night in a desirable way, more of a losing someone way. There is no doubt in my mind that people come in and out of your life to help you grow as a person and just because you cared for them does not mean they were supposed to stay. Last night I tossed and turned until 3am thinking of this certain someone and it honestly brought me to my knees.
My late night/early morning made me realize that humans are designed to be with someone else. My dreams and thoughts were a reminder of a time when I had it. Companionship carries more of a heavy meaning then I initially imagined. Married folks, imagine when your spouse goes out of town for business or vacation and you don't have that warm body laying next to you at night. Thankfully vacations end and you get your other half back, but if you are single its a desire that will be left unfulfilled for an unknown amount of time.
I still know my contentment with where God has me will weigh more heavily then this unfulfilled desire, but it sparks a question for me. When you are not in a relationship with someone, what are you supposed to do to sustain this longing? Friends don't quite always cut it or fill the void exactly as needed and prayer sometimes seems like a resounding gong. How can you find companionship that is pure and not crossing any boundaries?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I thought/felt that too.
But marriage doesn't solve that.
Ever felt alone in a crowd?
My dad always used to tell me that you can be lonely in a marriage so you have to learn to deal with it when you are single.
And not that you are necessarily saying you're lonely, but that you have this longing for another person.
But that other person, while great, doesn't fulfill that deep seeded need consistently. Only God can do that. I am learned that right now actually.
Honestly, I can't explain it because it's one of those things that you just realize when you are on the other side. Like now I appreciate certain aspects of being single that I never saw when I was single.
But I do know how you feel, really, I do.
It's great to get a married person's perspective. It's easier to assume things are better, because in a desparate attempt you kinda have to HOPE things are better then they are now. :)
Post a Comment