Over the past few months I've been babysitting for this couple that has two extremely intelligent boys. One of them just turned 4 in November and can translate between Swedish and English (I'll tell him something in English to say and he says it in Swedish.) They are so much fun and I'm constantly blown away by their intelligence. The little one is two and can read. The parents are so nice and have been supportive of my 'changes' the past few months.
The other night I caught view of a book that completely surprised me. It was "The Atheist Guidebook." It was a compilation of various pieces regarding atheism. The minutes went by so slowly until the kids went to bed because my curiosity was killing me. I wanted to open and see what outlandish ideas these folks had.
I read that...
Jesus was a magician and that's how he preformed miracles.
Jesus was real, but he was not the son of God.
Christianity is selfish because "We Christians" are the only ones that can be saved.
I can't tell you how unsafe I felt while reading that. I didn't believe a single word, and when I came across things that irked me I wanted to shout my beliefs outloud. It's scary to know that nice people like these aren't saved.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Lent
My heart hasn't been right with the whole "Lent" idea. Maybe it's because it wasn't a part of my culture growing up, but this year I decided to jump on the Lent bandwagon without much knowledge.
I know you give up something for 40 days (I saw the movie 40days/40nights) and you get one day a week to 'cheat'. I've done pretty well if I do say so myself and until last night stuck to that rule. I was sitting there with friends at PoBoys (which is actually a cool place if you haven't been there!! Hidden entertainment in Peoria.) A friend bought me a drink and I drank it. Not 10, but one. I didn't feel conviction.
To me, there are so many loopholes when it comes to Lent. If it's supposed to be a symbolism of sacrifice, why do you get the cheat day? You are supposed to use the temptation time to pray, but how many people remember to do that? Maybe it's just because I'm green behind the ears on this subject, but I didn't. Let's say you give up swearing for lent, that takes training of the tongue to stop, and you accidentally slip. You ask for forgiveness and 'try' not to do it again? It just seems too easy.
Daily I try to step outside of the box to focus on what I need to change/sacrifice for my relationship with God to grow. I've heard others this sacrificial time is supposed to help with struggles in the future. (Not swearing like a sailor for 40 days should help in that arena, etc) I don't think I've grown as a person by giving up alcohol. Maybe I am looking at this whole experience in the wrong light, and in that case I'd be up to listening to support. I just don't think "Lent" is something I'll participate in again.
I know you give up something for 40 days (I saw the movie 40days/40nights) and you get one day a week to 'cheat'. I've done pretty well if I do say so myself and until last night stuck to that rule. I was sitting there with friends at PoBoys (which is actually a cool place if you haven't been there!! Hidden entertainment in Peoria.) A friend bought me a drink and I drank it. Not 10, but one. I didn't feel conviction.
To me, there are so many loopholes when it comes to Lent. If it's supposed to be a symbolism of sacrifice, why do you get the cheat day? You are supposed to use the temptation time to pray, but how many people remember to do that? Maybe it's just because I'm green behind the ears on this subject, but I didn't. Let's say you give up swearing for lent, that takes training of the tongue to stop, and you accidentally slip. You ask for forgiveness and 'try' not to do it again? It just seems too easy.
Daily I try to step outside of the box to focus on what I need to change/sacrifice for my relationship with God to grow. I've heard others this sacrificial time is supposed to help with struggles in the future. (Not swearing like a sailor for 40 days should help in that arena, etc) I don't think I've grown as a person by giving up alcohol. Maybe I am looking at this whole experience in the wrong light, and in that case I'd be up to listening to support. I just don't think "Lent" is something I'll participate in again.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
My life
I started my new job as the Director for Recruiting at Northwestern Mutual Financial Network on Monday. I think I'm going to enjoy it! I have some great people and I can't wait to take over the reigns and organize everything. Lots of new information to learn, I've already had 6 interviews to sit in on, 3 meetings so far, needless to say I'm exhausted.
With stress comes health problems. I'm STILL sick (I've been sinus-sick since December) but other issues are arrising again after two years. I know as a women my punishment since the 'fall' has been pain in childbirth....I haven't had any kids but if it's anything like what I feel now, I'll be fine.
My biggest struggle right now is balancing living in fear and joy of the Lord. I don't know why I don't feel the joy, but with everything I am in constant fear. God has blessed me so much lately and has definately helped me stand after being humbled just a few months ago. I assume I constantly fear because it wasn't that long ago I felt joy and had everything taken away. I don't know the real reason, after all, I'm not God.
Thats my lunch-hour blog. :)
With stress comes health problems. I'm STILL sick (I've been sinus-sick since December) but other issues are arrising again after two years. I know as a women my punishment since the 'fall' has been pain in childbirth....I haven't had any kids but if it's anything like what I feel now, I'll be fine.
My biggest struggle right now is balancing living in fear and joy of the Lord. I don't know why I don't feel the joy, but with everything I am in constant fear. God has blessed me so much lately and has definately helped me stand after being humbled just a few months ago. I assume I constantly fear because it wasn't that long ago I felt joy and had everything taken away. I don't know the real reason, after all, I'm not God.
Thats my lunch-hour blog. :)
Monday, March 03, 2008
New New New
So much has been going on lately, and I don't really have the desire to separate the blog posts. Here's a summary...
1. I bought a new car on Friday. It's a 2006 Honda Civic LX. I really felt that the Mazda would not be the best economically for me. I enjoy it, it gets me from A to B. with better gas mileage and without the fear of flying off the road.
2. I'm becoming more aware of how my 'brothers in Christ' treat me. Comparing my relationships to how I think I should be treated as a woman and to actually see how I'm treated is a harsh reality. This is vague, but I'm sure I'll post this more in depth later.
3. The past few weeks my life has been lived with fear of the Lord. Which I understand is good and it's how things should be, but let me give an example. I'm not excited about the car. I've told myself that God blessed me with it, He can surely take it away at the drop of a hat. Thats how I'm living my life with everything. Weird. As if God will be punishing me for everything I do wrong.
SO much is going on. I pray that God will give me strength to handle things the way I'm supposed to.
1. I bought a new car on Friday. It's a 2006 Honda Civic LX. I really felt that the Mazda would not be the best economically for me. I enjoy it, it gets me from A to B. with better gas mileage and without the fear of flying off the road.
2. I'm becoming more aware of how my 'brothers in Christ' treat me. Comparing my relationships to how I think I should be treated as a woman and to actually see how I'm treated is a harsh reality. This is vague, but I'm sure I'll post this more in depth later.
3. The past few weeks my life has been lived with fear of the Lord. Which I understand is good and it's how things should be, but let me give an example. I'm not excited about the car. I've told myself that God blessed me with it, He can surely take it away at the drop of a hat. Thats how I'm living my life with everything. Weird. As if God will be punishing me for everything I do wrong.
SO much is going on. I pray that God will give me strength to handle things the way I'm supposed to.
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