Sunday, March 08, 2009

Life is about me.

#2
Twenty-four years later and I've come to a tough conclusion, one that I'm sure many people along my path have tried to tell me, but my mind has been jaded with another lie. My life in fact is NOT about me.

When we do something right as a little kid everyone is so proud and even calls attention to your successes. It instills a sense of accomplishment as a kid and I think it's very important for a well balanced self esteem in the later years of life.

There was some switch in my mind to get me thinking that life owes me something. My situation wasn't like everyone elses and I worked really hard to get where I am. "So what?"

I'd like to think of myself as a compassionate person, but when I think about who I show my love and empathy for, they are all people just like me. Of course I'd chose to serve others if I was asked to join in the opportunity but as a believer and an advocate for Christ I can honestly say I'm not the person to seek out these opportunities.

I am so concerned with what's going to happen with my future, where I'm going to live, who I am going to marry, what could I do to grow with Christ. I am frustrated because for so long I thought as long as I was growing with God my walk was 'right'. What makes it so good if I'm not impacting people around me? Or making a genuine effort to make this world a better place?

I pray for God to show me as well as others how to love others, serve others and in turn make an impact on the people we see daily all for His sake. I need to be humbled to convince myself that the lie I've been telling myself is not true, my life does not revolve around me, I'm merely a pawn in His world.