I am now a firm believer that we go through lessons in life that grow us personally, spiritually and sometimes professionally. I have gone through my share of mistakes and rough bouts in life that I have definitely grown from. The lessons may not be crystal clear but at least the trials that I have gone through to get to the purpose have been short enough where I don't feel as though I was drowning.
Lately I have been wondering what lesson I am supposed to be learning. Marriages around me are falling apart, infidelity seems to be a common practice, people are getting second and third chances at marriage and my mind gets lost in possibilities that are always dead-ended. It feels as though it's me against the world.
My prayer life has strengthened immensely and I believe now more than ever what my priorities of relationships have to be. As I am gaining confidence I keep get hitting with another test. One after another.
I was reading the book of Jonah the other day and it was talking about God giving Jonah a gourd for protection that he was so excited about yet he didn't tend to it or take care of it so it withered. That spoke to me although I am not sure what I am supposed to get from it. What else can I do besides pray when life gets hard, because it doesn't seem as though I'm getting a breath of fresh air for very long. I am molding and shaping my heart to be prepared to handle whatever "gourd' sends my way, but I still feel stuck in waiting, waiting for whatever I am supposed to learn from all of this.
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1 comment:
I love the first paragraph of this post, because it matches exactly what i am feeling. I love that you're blogging again, you've always given me inspiration to continue on (spiritually, and personally) even when i don't necessarily want/like to. So thank you =)
Sam Lam
ps: i miss you!
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