Some of you may know this about me, but I am very prideful when it comes to knowing things. I have experienced a lot, which allows me to know,or think I know answers to questions or situations that some may not. When searching my heart on Sunday at Harvest to find what I really need to surrender to God, this didn't come up. Although it was a choice in a list of issues many struggle with, I didn't think it was me. Control, yes. Job, haha YES. Relationship, you get the picture. But not the right to be right.
I have to be right on a lot of things. Maybe it's from my childhood always being in competition with my sisters, but if I know the answer to something you better believe I will stick to my guns to prove I'm right. Heck, I even correct my grammar in group prayers just to be right. That one time a year when I'm wrong (thats a joke..) I will admit it hesitantly. But even if someone backs down, I will still prove I'm right.
Pride is an awful thing. As I think about surrendering my right to be right I relate it to current issues I'm clinging to. As foolish as it may sound, I thought for once I was in a "real" relationship. I even told people just how real I thought it was. My heart was changing and there was no shred of doubt in my mind that it wouldn't last. As it has clearly been overwith for 3 weeks I have been clinging to that ounce of hope...why?
Maybe it's because I'm too prideful to admit I was wrong.
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