My shame..

I was told by a friend that I should go to the Good Friday service at Northwoods. I have celebrated the 'events' of Easter before, but in all honesty never like this.

I have been holding on to my shame. I do things I'm not proud of and I ask forgiveness. By God's grace, I am forgiven but as Cal said it perfectly, "It's our mind that prevents us from forgiving ourselves." In my past I have been taught that things can be forgiven, but not forgotten. With any mistake I made growing up, it was forgiven, but always brought back up at one point in time or another. The idea of having something shameful be forgiven and FORGOTTEN has been fairly new to me, and extremely hard to accept. On Friday, as a part of the service, I wrote down the things that I was ashamed of. (My friend Nancy said it perfectly, by asking for a notebook instead of the small paper they provided..) I had the opportunity to tear up my shame, and give it all up to God. Two days later I still feel peace in my heart from my shame.

Easter was great. I was able to attend the service with a friend, whom I didn't know was a Christian. Then I had reflection time. I layed in bed, listened to music and stared out the window. I felt full of God.

Life is really crazy now. I graduate in a month and balancing work and projects and event campaigns just really take up my life. By the end of the day I try working out to get some "Me and God" time, but when I get home I just crash. It was really amazing to have this weekend with God.

A prayer request: I learned last week, that the full time job I was hoping to get when I graduate won't be ready for me, and it could take months...I didn't plan on that happening so I didn't do any job searching. Possible positions could be available at the station for me, but I just ask that you pray for God to show me where I am supposed to be.