My Week

I didn't sleep last night. Do you ever have those nights where all you can do is think about the stuff that lies undone so if you HAPPEN to fall asleep you dream about those things, and it's such a light sleep that a cricket wakes you up..that was me last night.

When I get stressed, my body shuts down. The past two weeks I have been sick, fighting fevers, sinus infections and losing and finding my voice daily.

Today I have a semester long campaign presentation. It's a high percentage of our grade, like 3/4. A lot of weight is on today. We were up until 2:30am working on it, averaging 9 hours of work each day the past weekend. (We met everyday last week also..) Tomorrow I have a presentation that had to be pushed back to tomorrow because last week I had no voice. I am finished with the presentation, but after watching everyone else go I need to re-vamp my approach. Then Thursday is the next presentation.

Keep in mind, this whole time my boss is out of town this week so I am at the office everyday. It is also Senior week for my sorority so we have something everynight this week at 9pm.

I know it's bad to quote the prior post..but this week: "Lord beer me strength"

The Office

I never do this...... but I couldn't resist.

Jim: "Lord, beer me strength."

Distractions

Lately I have been realizing, that I fill my life with distractions, on purpose. With graduation coming up, I will have a lot of time on my hands. I think it will seriously drive me crazy! I strive at keeping myself busy so when I accomplish tasks, I actually FEEL accomplished.

What I have found is that my distractions I choose to fill my mind with cause me to lose focus on God. Things I know I have no control over. I should be turning them over to Him, but I still let them roam in my mind. This could explain my God dry spell.

I don't know how to stop.

"Take Me Out to the BALLPARC"

On Monday, April 23rd my senior project group is hosting a baseball game at O'Brien Field in recognition and celebration of PARC, a local not-for-profit organization. PARC has been serving developmentally disabled participants in the Peoria area for 55 years.

Gates open at 5:30 and the first pitch is at 6:30. The Peoria Chiefs will be playing the Kane County Cougars. Tickets are only $5.00

The PARC "Dream Team" consisting of 9 PARC participants will be announced along with the Chief players during the National Anthem.

A raffle with prizes donated from local businesses will be held and all the proceeds will go to benefit PARC.

On Monday, April 23rd, bring the family to cheer on your Peoria Chiefs and celebrate PARC. We'll see you at the ballPARC!

*If anyone is interested in donating a monetary gift or a raffle item, please let me know! All items are tax deductible and PARC is a 501 (c)3.

Who I am..

This morning God has put on my heart for me to analyze who I am. More importantly, who I portray I am to others. I have never really thought about it much, but I can imagine countless times where I don't portray on the outside, who I really am on the inside.

Once I figure it all out, I'll post more.

Satan..

Before I became a Christian I always compared people who talked about Satan to those who obsess themselves with mythical creatures. Satan to me was just this image that was on a trading card or a video game. I now know how real he is.

As I posted before I was able to release myself of things I was holding on to this past weekend. I wasn't the same person I used to be and it was evident when I read my journals. It was depressing to read the past few months of journals. But after this weekend I re-checked my heart and found it was filled with natural things instead of spiritual things (Romans 8)

Yesterday, Satan tried to get at me. Fill my head with negative ideas and images with what I had just released off my heart. How frustrating! It was as if I knew the truth of God, but still was under attack of Satan. One thing I learned last night was that Satan can't read your mind. Since we are filled with the holy spirit Satan is unable to break through. So in order to get his influences out of our hearts we need to tell him outloud. (Thanks Gina)

I pray that today I can focus on living in the Spirit.

Forgiveness

So the theme of my past weekend has apparently been forgiveness. Knowing that God forgives me, and actually accepting that forgiveness in addition to forgiving myself. Well I was reading a book last night (I've been reading it FOREVER....) "It Comes from Within" and the chapter I was reading talks about confession. When we confess things it should be a sign of change. A conscious effort to not commit the same sin again.

Today I confessed and admitted to someone that I made a mistake. I think in order for me to release the shame and accept God's forgiveness, I needed to apologize to the person I wronged. That was a lot harder then I thought! Admitting my mistake and coming clean with the reason I allowed myself to let me guard down was eye opening.

I pray that I continually can admit when I'm wrong....and ask for forgiveness even if the person doesn't understand why I need it.

Forgiveness

So the theme of my past weekend has apparently been forgiveness. Knowing that God forgives me, and actually accepting that forgiveness in addition to forgiving myself. Well I was reading a book last night (I've been reading it FOREVER....) "It Comes from Within" and the chapter I was reading talks about confession. When we confess things it should be a sign of change. A conscious effort to not commit the same sin again.

Today I confessed and admitted to someone that I made a mistake. I think in order for me to release the shame and accept God's forgiveness, I needed to apologize to the person I wronged. That was a lot harder then I thought! Admitting my mistake and coming clean with the reason I allowed myself to let me guard down was eye opening.

I pray that I continually can admit when I'm wrong....and ask for forgiveness even if the person doesn't understand why I need it.

My shame..

I was told by a friend that I should go to the Good Friday service at Northwoods. I have celebrated the 'events' of Easter before, but in all honesty never like this.

I have been holding on to my shame. I do things I'm not proud of and I ask forgiveness. By God's grace, I am forgiven but as Cal said it perfectly, "It's our mind that prevents us from forgiving ourselves." In my past I have been taught that things can be forgiven, but not forgotten. With any mistake I made growing up, it was forgiven, but always brought back up at one point in time or another. The idea of having something shameful be forgiven and FORGOTTEN has been fairly new to me, and extremely hard to accept. On Friday, as a part of the service, I wrote down the things that I was ashamed of. (My friend Nancy said it perfectly, by asking for a notebook instead of the small paper they provided..) I had the opportunity to tear up my shame, and give it all up to God. Two days later I still feel peace in my heart from my shame.

Easter was great. I was able to attend the service with a friend, whom I didn't know was a Christian. Then I had reflection time. I layed in bed, listened to music and stared out the window. I felt full of God.

Life is really crazy now. I graduate in a month and balancing work and projects and event campaigns just really take up my life. By the end of the day I try working out to get some "Me and God" time, but when I get home I just crash. It was really amazing to have this weekend with God.

A prayer request: I learned last week, that the full time job I was hoping to get when I graduate won't be ready for me, and it could take months...I didn't plan on that happening so I didn't do any job searching. Possible positions could be available at the station for me, but I just ask that you pray for God to show me where I am supposed to be.

22 going on 35...

Last night....I felt old.

Sunday night we were sitting around the table at the Sletten house when Summer tells me she needs to ask me a question. I should have known it was going to be different when she prefaced with, "Leslie, I have something to ask you and I'm only asking because I know you will tell me no if you want to.." Uh oh. She needed a babysitter on Tuesday (last night..) THEN she casually slips in on Tuesdays Lyza has swimming lessons. I couldn't help but laugh hysterically after she asked me.

After checking my schedule I decided I would go through with it. I took Lyza to swimming lessons. Then, about a stoplight away from the place, my FRIEND (or so she says) Summer decides to break the news to me. "Oh you have to sing this raindrops song.." WHAT! Not only was I going to be in a swimsuit (embarrassing) but I will have to SING (even more embarrassing!)

After spending 30 minutes in the pool with a little fish they call Lyza, and singing 4 SONGS! (not 1) I realized swim lessons weren't as bad as I thought....

My waving neighbors

I know, two posts in one day...

Maybe it's my age, or just my neighborhood but something about it makes me feel cozy. Moving from Bradley's campus to a neighboorhood outskirts of North Peoria has definately been a culture shock.

I can remember sitting on my porch on Fredonia last summer enjoying the beautiful weather and witnessing a drug exchange. Some of you may be asking, "how do you know it was a drug sale?" I'm telling you I saw the driver get out of one car, go into the other, turn on the dome lights to check out the goods all while the girl in the original car was emptying the tobacco out of a cigar in preparation. Drug deal, no doubt about it.

Now that the weather is nice, I drive and in my new neighborhood watch all my neighbors take care of their lawn, have a few beers while sitting on their tailgate chatting it up with other residents. The difference is I drive and it hasn't been one nice day that goes by that my neighbors don't WAVE as I drive by. I'm talking everytime I drive by, even my 5 year old girls that live two houses down, I get waves.

It really makes me feel safe. I mean how could a neighborhood be threatening if it's residents are THAT friendly?

Answered Prayer..

My sleep schedule has been out of wack for the past few weeks. I used to be ready for bed at 9:30 and would be up like clock-work at 7:00 am! It's gotten to the point where I can't fall asleep before midnight and I have to drag myself out of bed. Last night I decided to pray that God give me rest that when I would wake up, I felt refreshed. Well needless to say this morning I woke up, and was wide awake. Too bad it was at 4:15 in the morning!

Hopefully tonight I will be so tired that I can start my old routine again!

Case in point: God does listen, ask specifically.