Last week I was looking at my dedication to God. Take working out for example. I have been working out a lot lately, and I do it because I love how it feels afterward and I have the drive to fit into that bikini! How selfish! So I've been trying to give my workout to God. Instead of quitting whenever I feel like it. I set a goal and push myself to that goal and give that time to God and look to him for strength.
I've been thinking a lot about prayer ever since Cal spoke last Wednesday at New Community. I had been contending for things to happen through prayer. I was frustrated because I felt worn out, then Cal lite my fire again. A few days after I suddenly felt guilty for my prayers. They were selfish. The prayer was for salvation, but deep down in hopes I would reap benefits of that salvation. That sounds just as bad as I re-read what I typed.
So I stopped praying for that. Is it possible to take the selfish need out of prayer? I fear that if I continue to pray I will hang on to hopes that things will change when really I just need to continue moving on.
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