Enough is enough..

This past month has been horrible. Granted God blessed me with many great things, a new job, a good boyfriend, temporary financial security/peace, control over school, and good friends. I think Charlie was the one who commented when God blesses, Satan attacks. I have been under self scrutiny and last night I realized I can't control everything.

Instead of taking all the blessings God has provided, I concentrated on how things were not in my control and allowed Satan to rule my heart. My job is great, but I worked 55 hours. On top of that I have a Public Relations Campaign for school that we actually have to carry out. (I'll post about that later.) This campaign takes a lot of scheduled meetings, outside work and thats on top of my two online courses and the balance of my 19 credit hour semester. I was concentrating on knowing my future in my relationship instead of living for the day. I wanted to know what God had in store before He wanted me to. When things didn't go my way I looked at the negative. I no longer have a sense of security with my finances, especially after I have many upcoming large bills to pay. My friends are still good, and I love them every moment of my life.

Last night I found myself stuck. Someone I care about lost two people in their life this past weekend. I couldn't control anything. I wanted to console him, I wanted to take his hurt. But it puts me in a hard position because he isn't letting me. My heart was/is so heavy for his family. I can't do this. It all has to be God. I was writing a talk last night for Young Life and the cool thing about this talk was my topic was "God can do anything." How true.