Monday, March 29, 2010

An alteration of the mind..

I get on roller-coasters of reading kicks. The past month or so I have gotten on again and decided to read books that others have recommended. Typically I have selective people that I will follow their reading advice, but the past month I have read two, and am in the middle of one book from overheard conversations. Strangely enough all 3 books have a similar theme that has stirred my brain into wanting to live a different life.

The first book I read, by recommendation of a fellow Young Life volunteer, was called "Same Kind of Different as Me" by Ron Hall and Denver Moore. It tells a story of how two very different people whose views on life were very different, yet God uses their friendship to reveal Himself. I felt the urge to serve others after reading this book, with the understanding that in reality I have no understanding beyond my own experience or assumption. There's a whole world out there in which I am so closed off.

The second book has made its way around our church community and I finally had the desire to read it. "Irresistible Revolution" by Shane Claiborne allowed me to continue my thought process on serving others and the world outside of my comprehension. A few weird things happened as I was reading his book. Primarily the government decided to vote for the Healthcare Reform which stirs a lot of emotions for someone who is caught in the middle. Working for a small business owner and knowing the taxes of what goes into a program like that, but on the flip side my heart is starting to desire a different way of living for myself. An unselfish way of life. Plus it started getting me thinking of actually having a stance on politics instead of just being so lackadaisical about the topic.

The second incidence that happened while reading this book has been running through my mind for about a week and a half. The other Sunday I had the pleasure of serving breakfast to the less fortunate. It was my duty to play 'bouncer' at the door due to the fire code needing to be enforced. I got to interact with a lot of our homeless friends that day because i got to welcome them as they walked in and give them best wishes as they left. There was one gentleman that wasn't talking to many people that particular morning and so as he walked out I decided to look him in the eye and tell him "Good Morning". He snuffed my comment and went out, later I saw he came back in and headed right to me. For the second time that morning I noticed two tear drops tattooed on his face. With the limited knowledge I have about gangs or south side lifestyles, I do know that a tattoo of a tear drop is to represent how many people one has killed. So as this gentleman walked towards me he opened his arms as if he was going to hug me. I panicked and went out to shake his hand and then for a minute or so we did this awkward shuffle dance as I was not ready to commit to a hug. In retrospect I do not know why I wasn't willing to hug him. It was fear that ran my mind and body at that moment and for the past week and a half it's been bothering me. I am ashamed in knowing that I was afraid of showing someone that they are cared about with an embrace, yet I'd get up early to serve that same man breakfast? I hugged at least 15 people that day at church yet I couldn't get myself to hug him? What if that hug was something that could change his life? This went to show me that as I am in transition and have grown a lot, I still have a lot to learn. My instinct should be to serve anyone that needs anything even if it is just a hug.

I watched the Blind Side the other night, and at the very end of the movie they talked about the lifestyle of some kids and how if they just are given a chance they might make a difference. I pray that eventually my thoughts and actions be like Jesus and people walk away from interacting with me different. Different because of Him.

The third book in case you are wondering is called "An Altar in the World" by Barbara Brown Taylor, a recommendation by my mother. I am only two chapters in but I can already tell the theme will continue.

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