I laid in bed early this morning clutching to my pillow as the thunder cracked and shook my apartment complex. I have never felt so fearful in my life and after praying for it, I never receieved peace. I know that fear does not come from the Lord but even after I prayed the fear never left. Yes, it did stop cracking and booming long enough for me to fall back asleep but even when I woke again to head to the gym anxiety filled my heart.
I've been thinking a lot about my walk with Christ. There have been some things that I have always struggled with that I know in my heart are on the way out the door. I am human and tend to find myself slipping, but I always pull back in-line with how I am supposed to live. After multiple conversations with Christian friends and even a few sermons at church I know that if you do something wrong or that isn't lined up with God's will then we need to make it right. But what if I don't know what will make it right? I can apoligize to those involved, ask for forgiveness but I don't seem to forgive myself.
That's where I am. Humbled.
1 comment:
Have you tried asking God to lift these particular burdens from your heart? Cal once had the "congregation" imagine our burdens being held in our hands and we lifted them up to God while asking him to take them away. It was pretty intense and I remember getting chills just knowing that my burdens were gone. They were actaully GONE. Sounds simple but it worked for me. I have also heard of writing each burden down and again, praying for them to be lifted from your heart. Then either rip up the paper with your burdens on them or burn them. FYI: If you do the fire thing, have an extinguisher ready if you have lots of burdens : ) or you can come over and use our fire pit.
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