The beginning

“The Lord is my Shepard, I shall not want, He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters, He restores my soul. He leads me down paths of righteousness for His names sake. Even though I walk through the valley of darkness, I fear no evil. For you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy will follow me, all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”

It was just like any normal day. I woke up, went to church and decided to go for a motorcycle ride with my boyfriend to enjoy the summer, something we’d do almost every Sunday since we had started dating a short two months prior. Except this day, we never got to explore, we only got about two blocks away before time stopped.

The sounds of metal crushing and glass shattering and the gravity of my body flipping twice before landing didn’t even register at that point what had happened. I landed on the side of the road feeling the heat and bass of the car that was within arms distance and it was difficult to catch my breath. I see Jason a few feet away from me try to jump up to come over to me, but he falls immediately. Blood is covering his face as he tries to make his way over to me. The heat burning in the open wounds caused my body to uncontrollably shake, shock was setting in. The kid frantically jumps out and seems to be fine.

I laid staring at the blades of grass and repeating Psalm 23 and The Lords Prayer for what seems like hours. The random neighbors voice apologizing that this happened and coaching me to stay alert started to fade into background noise. Even before the paramedics showed to the scene I felt peace. If God was going to take me at that moment, I would be fine. My heart hurt for Jason, as he had crawled his way to shade, I could see nothing on his face but blood. We’d take turns calling out to each other, but as the paramedics came there was no more chance to communicate. I had no clue what was to happen to myself or the guy that I had just started dating.

No one would tell me his status, just that he would be okay. As I was tormented in the trauma room, all I could think of was Jason and what was going to happen to us. I hadn’t cried until the moment my best friend came in to the room. It was then my fear of life or death and the culmination of what just happened just exploded from my face. My concept of time was a blur, but there are specific instances I remember. Hearing Jason screaming in the trauma room next to mine, the moment I saw those closest to me, and the first time I saw Jason as he was rolled into the pre-op room. I remember the words, “Babe, they think I might lose my eye” and before I could say a word the look and head nod that I got from his nurse led me to realize that his eye was gone. The nurse came over to me and whispered, “You have to be strong for him right now.” I knew he needed comfort and it was than I knew we’d fight together no matter what would happen, and thats exactly what I said to him.

I can honestly say that I had no reassurance of my life until I woke up from surgery. As they wheeled me to my room where my family was waiting, I was taken past Jason in his post-op. I told him I loved him, and at that moment I felt as if I actually knew what love meant. Throughout the hustle of getting transferred I remember seeing my parents hug, a sight I had never seen in 25 years. I knew life would be different.

My stay in the hospital was a blur. Various doctors and trauma teams, drug after drug, visitors and family all kept my schedules pretty busy. All I knew was that everyone seemed to know who Jason and I were. Nurses would go above and beyond in trying to allow us to see each other. Getting wheel chairs to transport from one floor and room to another, and even coming to the room in which they’d know we were in if our own room was vacant. It was the first time in my life I heard the term boyfriend and/or girlfriend almost everyday and it seemed natural.

Days went by and I was fit to leave the hospital and finish healing at home. Jason however still needed time until his lung was fully recovered and the 8 bones he broke started to heal on their own. It felt weird, being at home while he was still at the hospital. I got rides down to see him, to hold his hand, to kiss his lips. I didn’t feel right being home not being able to just wheel down to his room whenever I wanted. Little did I know that this would only be the first part of a long journey to come.