All in the same.

Unfortunately I have never been able to compartmentalize what's going on in my life. I deal with everything all at once. As humiliating as it is, I wear my heart on my sleeve and when life's good everyone knows it. The same thing happens when life is tough only I blog more to get the thoughts out of my head. My mom always told me that things usually happen in sets of three, especially death. I like the saying, "When it rains it pours". Here's my melting pot.

I am so angry that I never seem to be able to just 'be'. Why are things always such a battle? Give me contentment, give me peace, give me some sort of tangible happiness that covers all of my anger.

I hate how I push everyone away when life gets tough. It's my way of dealing with things because honestly if no one is around there is no chance that they will let you down. I'd rather deal with it alone. I hate how I've let myself get vulernable in a situation that's going no where. I am better than that. I deserve better than that.

I hate how I never feel appreciated in the workplace. I devote my heart into what I do, but when my talents are tested the value is not there anymore.

I am so angry that marriage doesn't hold the importance to people in my life that it should. Marriage is a choice to love someone when you don't feel like loving them sometimes. I worry I will be like them. Maybe I'll see marriage as a lifelong vow but my husband won't. Then there will be nothing I can do.

I am tired of fighting for everything. I look at people who seem to have all the blessings in the world. They aren't fighting financially. Give me security for once in my life.

Give me the desire to serve others when I really feel my world is a mess. That's the only way I can get through. You are the only way I can get through.

Psalm 13.