So when I was in highschool, and not a Christian I might add, I was a little jerk. I was stubborn (still am) and boy did I have an attitude. When people would have something to say regarding me or any other issue I was right there getting in their face. Some would even say I was a 'hard ass'. I had no problem jumping the gun and sticking up for what I believed was right and you better believe that if any of my friends had beef with anyone, they would call on me. I wasn't scared to fight and I had a mouth that could tear anybody down.
When I became a Christian my junior year of highschool things changed. My heart softened and I actually gave people a chance. My life has been pretty drama free since then and it's been really nice. Of course I keep up on the gossip thanks to my best friend Nancy and my COM 300 study group ;o) but I like to keep myself out of things. Another reason is lately stress takes a toll on my body in a bad way. Anyways thats besides the point.
Lately I've been struggling with some conflict and I find myself jumping back into fighter mode. It would be completely inappropriate I know to throw punches at the library but I found myself with my adrenaline racing and ready to throw down. Words were not said thankfully or else I don't know what I would have done. But my problem and what I don't understand is how can I let myself get so worked up about something or someone who doesn't even matter in my life. I've been consistantly praying for a calm heart but it seems as though everytime a new piece of information is exposed I immediately jump into defense. I wonder if its possible to completely lose that nature that I was so proud of. At my age I don't think its normal to be prepared to fight..that was highschool stuff.
The weird thing about this whole thing is I cherish my friends and I know God puts people into my life at times for good reason. But I can't figure out what lesson God is trying to teach me in this situation. Oh well.
POG to you.
2 comments:
WAS? Leslie you are a hard ass. Ha, just kidding. Lately I've been feeling the same way. Some people just rub me the wrong way and I get totally bent out of shape.
I look at it like God is putting me in these situations and letting me struggle so that I'll learn patience and understanding, and so that I can grow to be a better person.
Dear Leslie,
You still have my COM300 book. Give it back you jerk! haha. j/k... except for the part about the book. I need that back.
Love Always,
Blinks
Post a Comment