Selfishly Me

So my day today has really been really just a blur. I slept until 12 (people I don't do that often so don't give me crap), I went out to eat with two of my roomates, went to a Dr's appointment and then worked until about 11. I know sleeping late pretty much screws my day but it felt worth it at the time. Another detail about my day that I didn't realize until I lay here reflecting was that everything I did was in complete selfishness. (Ben is that word?)

My sleeping pattern today was strickly because I didn't go to bed until about two hours before the sun came up. That was my fault but yet I forgot everything else I could have done during those perfect morning hours (pack) to sleep because I was tired. Let me continue.

Lunch. I had a perfectly fine offer to have a homemade meal for lunch but instead I begged my roomates to go OUT to eat. I wanted to have everything prepared for me at any cost. I just wanted things my way and for THAT I am selfish.

My doctor's appointment went as well as it could have gone and I found out things that could put my heart at ease. There is a treatment that I was told about, but the costs would be about $400.00 a month. I would need them for 6 months. For those non-math majors that would be $2,400. Of course there is no way I could pay for any of it and I'm hoping insurance will cover some of it. This treatment would help me in my future and was highly recommended by my doctor. A part of me feels extremely guilty for following through with this procedure because that would put my parents back financially. They have done alot for me and the last thing I wanted to do was get sick.

Work I tried as hard as I could to be gracious to every customer I met. I think this probably was the most unselfish part of the day. Except when it came towards the end of my shift. All I wanted to do was go home and hang out with friends. I didn't want to go out even though it would have meant a lot to my friends going out, but I was selfish and wanted to go to bed. Of course that didn't stop me from wanting to hang out with others at my house. When those plans didn't work out to my liking I got sad. I wanted things my way. No matter what was going on for others, all I wanted to do was for them to hang out with me.

I have never noticed this about my lifestyle until now and I hate it. For anyone whom I have acted this way towards I am deeply sorry and I hope that one day God will finish working on my heart to be the selfless person He was.

POG to you all.